Bullies at bay

Simon Knight September 1997

As the new flock of first years gain their initial taste of secondary school can the horror stories they've been fed possibly be true?

Working with young people who are making this transition themselves it strikes me that something today has changed. The sense of adventure that once was seen as a healthy response to new challenges has been dulled by a continuous emphasis on the risks facing today's children. Bullying is a case in point.

Concern about bullying has reached an almost obsessive level. A brief search of the Internet revealed over 5000 articles! Schools are under constant bombardment from literature on the subject. Any school that doesn't have guidelines to spot, tackle and eliminate bullying is deemed irresponsible at best and more likely negligent.

From the profile bullying gets one would assume that it is on the increase. If we examine some of the new definitions it isn't hard to see why the statistics reflect this.

The old adage about sticks and stones has truly had its day. "A thump is over and done with… Words don't result in… obvious signs… yet the mental scars take much longer to heal." (Angela Glaser of Kidscape) Alan Train, a 'bullying expert' believes that, "bullies often do nothing noteworthy… what they do not do may constitute their tactic… they do not speak to their victims." Young people tell me that they do not like being called names or being sent to Coventry. But when these common unpleasant aspects of growing up are conflated with more serious behaviour it makes a mockery of real tragedies and can only serve to cause unnecessary worry.

Going to school does place children at risk of being bullied but only in the same sense that buying a lottery ticket puts you at risk of becoming a millionaire. Anti-bullying strategies concentrate the minds of pupils on extremely rare events. Teacher led discussions leave children with only one possible conclusion: "it could be me".

Awareness raising increases the likelihood of children seeing themselves as victims. Last year, bullying was the most frequent problem raised by young people calling Childline. Many of the anti-bullying strategies increase the amount of supervision that pupils are under. This may reassure staff that nothing untoward is going on but what is the effect on the children being monitored?

Leaving the parental atmosphere of primary school may well be daunting but it is a necessary step on the road to adulthood. Starting secondary school provides an opportunity to take initiative in learning. Exploring, experimenting, taking decisions and making mistakes not only in the class room but also in the playground. All these experiences contribute to growing up. Peer relations are an area where young people can experiment as a prelude to taking full adult responsibility. The watchful eye of the teacher may well be a caring one but by just being there it affects the outcome. Playground relationships play themselves out differently.

The young people who I work with act very differently when I am around. This ensures that no one gets picked on but hardly prepares them for a time when they will not be under supervision. How can they develop an understanding of theirs and other people's emotions without ever experiencing unfettered conflict of kindness?

As teachers or youth workers we cannot teach trust and interpersonal grace. These attributes can only develop in their own free atmosphere. If children never learn to give or care other than through duty or by judgement from an adult then mutuality and affection will never flourish.

Taking responsibility for themselves is the single most important lesson for a child to learn. Adolescents transferring to secondary school have the chance to take certain responsibilities as a prelude to full adulthood. If our education system never allows them to stand up for themselves how will they ever learn?